


A long forgotten feeling

by nastiy_spb



Category: Vampire Chronicles - Anne Rice
Genre: Angst, Blood, Blood Drinking, Bloodplay, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Killing, Love Bites, M/M, POV First Person, Parallel Universes, Vampire Bites, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:40:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26758159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nastiy_spb/pseuds/nastiy_spb
Summary: Armand lies under a thick layer of snow after falling from heaven to earth and and is severely burned from the sun. He realizes that Sybelle and Benji were just a short vision, they never existed. Marius saves him from under the ice. How will this affect their relationship? Will they be able to remember a long-forgotten feeling for each other? An alternative version of the development of events in the second half of the book "The Vampire Armand".
Relationships: Armand/Marius de Romanus
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	A long forgotten feeling

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank Carolin https://darude-sanderstorm.tumblr.com/ for helping me translate this fanfiction into English. I would also like to draw your attention to the fact that English is not our first language.  
> I have very little experience in writing, but I really love the couple of Armand and Marius and I am also very familiar with the canon. I tried to reflect all of Armand's feelings for Marius and to get as close to the canon as possible.
> 
> My blog on Tumblr https://nastiy-v.tumblr.com/
> 
> Art on Armand and Marius from KatinkaMeserant https://www.deviantart.com/katinkameserant/art/I-want-more-197643109  
> and from Gaara-Not-Found https://www.deviantart.com/gaara-not-found/art/Marius-y-Amadeo-216152943
> 
> My original Russian version of fanfic https://ficbook.net/readfic/9930206

I was lying under a thick layer of snow on the roof of a building. It had been about a week since I fell from the sky, burnt from the sun. All I could feel was pain, agonizing pain all over my body from burnt flesh. ... Agony ... Thirst ... My body felt so hateful to me. This is how I felt all this time, and how I feel to this day. I was completely naked, since my clothes had been burned by the sun, along with my skin. My flesh had turned to a glossy black, looking now like that of a swamp corpse. I could only see my hands, which were more like the hands of a skeleton with claws. I didn’t have the strength to even get up to complete my plan, ending my life once and for all. So, I was still existing. I was conscious. This dark blood still kept me alive and even tried to heal me. I was lying there all alone. I realized that there was no Benjamin or Sybelle, that they were only in my head at the moment when my mind tried to get rid of this feeling of pain. Did I even want to keep on living? I didn't know ... All I knew was that this pain and thirst were unbearable. I just wanted everything to stop!

I sensed a presence. There were two strong vampires. It was dangerous, they could find me, but I still looked through the eyes of one of them and saw the face of my creator. It was Marius and Santino. An incredible pair - the one who created me and the one who tried to destroy him. They were dressed in old-fashioned clothes, but they blended so well with the crowd that people simply did not pay attention to them. Marius was wrapped in his favorite red velvet cloak and Santino was dressed in black. Yes, sometimes we vampires liked to dress like we did in times past, yet we still always went unnoticed. Marius and Santino were here on business, they covered the tracks left by other vampires, who also decided to surrender to the sun. They tried to cover up all traces that could testify to our existence in the human world. Among these pieces of evidence were the remains of my burnt clothing. Marius put them in a bag. They both mourned my death. It was dangerous to stay in Santino's head any further, but from their conversation I was able to get the information that the Veil of Veronica had been taken to the Vatican. And Lestat, my Lestat, had gone mad after this story with Memnoch and was now being held captive by the oldest member of our family... He could be destroyed if he didn’t calm down. It couldn't be! I wriggled and turned, but only felt new waves of pain. I couldn't take it anymore! No!

And then I felt Santino's presence in my head. My wall, which hid my presence, collapsed. No, that couldn’t be, I didn't want them to see me like that. I was too careless, my powers were too weak to remain unnoticed any longer.

«Armand?! Are you alive?» Santino said aloud and in my head.

«What did you say?» Marius asked, looking at him in bewilderment.

«Armand, I know it was you! Where are you? I feel your pain, let us help you!» Santino told me mentally. Marius also heard his mental voice.

I was silent.

«What?! Do you feel Armand's presence? He's alive! Where is he?! You have to help me find him!» my creator said, clutching at Santino's shoulders and gazing intently into his eyes.

«Quiet! Let me go! I'm trying to listen ...»

They would find me, I simply did not have the strength to resist. I didn't want them to see me! Leave me!

«Do you hear him?» Marius asked.

«Yes, I hear and feel him. He seems to be not far from here, but he does not want us to find him ...»

«No! I will not leave him in this state, he is most likely suffering a lot now. I know the pain of fire firsthand», my creator said, looking at Santino, hinting at their past. «Sunburns can be even worse for us. Even if he doesn't want to see me, I won't let him ... Tell me where he is?! Please tell me, Santino, where is he? For the sake of our past, if there is even a little light left in your black heart, then you will tell me!» Marius said. He was shaking.

«I don’t understand you. If you think that I have never loved him, you are deeply, deeply mistaken ... He is on the roof of a building two blocks from us, he seems to be under a solid layer of ice. Come on, I'll show you».

They were approaching me. Marius and Santino. These were two men who completely changed my life by making me who I am today. Marius was the one who gave me this new life in darkness, and Santino was the one who completely turned this new life and shattered the only youth that fell to my lot. I tried to resist, I tried to build a mental shield around me, but I only wasted my last strength. My heart began to beat treacherously faster, making itself felt. Too late. They were already here. I could hear the ice cracking and breaking. The light from the windows of skyscrapers fell sharply into my eyes, so I closed them. They completely removed the snow and ice above me.

«Amadeo!» I heard him whisper. «My boy, what have you done to yourself?» I felt how he gently ran his hand through my hair (my hair was the only thing that had recovered so easily after the sunlight).

I was silent. This name ... only he could call me by this name, which had been lost to me so long ago. I slowly opened my eyelids and there he was, no longer just being a projection of Santino's mind. This beautiful white face ... His long blond hair was parted in the middle and a cloak of red velvet draped around his shoulders. All this reminded me so much of our first meeting. My creator looked at me with concern. When my gaze fell onto Santino, I noticed his black clothes and slightly tousled hair. He stood nearby and clearly seemed to be worried about me. I wanted to look at myself through his eyes, but my strength was running out.

«Why are you here?» I said hoarsely. My attention was distracted by the pounding of their mighty hearts. My thirst was very strong, but I was trapped in my own body.

«Armand, no need for words, let us help you. Marius, he needs blood» Santino said, bringing his wrist to his mouth, but my creator intercepted his hand, preventing him from biting.

«No, he is my child. I myself will take care of him. My blood is much stronger than yours. Besides, dawn is coming soon, I will take him to my place of safety».

«You know better. You can take him. It is enough for me to know that he is alive. You have always had that special connection with him that I have never been able to understand ... I helped you find him, consider it my redemption from our past. I am leaving you now and will finish our common cause here tomorrow.»

«Alright.» Marius replied absent-minded.

Then Santino was gone.

«Why do you want to save me?» I repeated my question. «Leave me here, let the sun finish what it started».

«Do you so want to die, my child? Why? Didn't you ask me, once about this evil blood? Didn't you yourself want to be immortal? Are you so influenced by the face that you saw on that Veil of Veronica?»

«I…»

«No! Enough, say nothing more! I can feel how weak you are. The sun will rise in an hour, and you are already starting to fall asleep».

I couldn't argue. He was right. My strength was already leaving me due to the approach of dawn, although there was still a whole hour before sunrise. How weak I was. I didn't care anymore, I let him do what he wanted. Soon I would feel the daytime oblivion, and this pain would go away for a while.

Marius took off his velvet cloak.

«I will lift you now, you will have to be patient».

He lifted me into his arms and wrapped me in his cloak. I screamed from a new wave of pain, but then it became a little easier when this pleasant velvet fabric wrapped around my body.

«Sleep as I take you home».

«Do I have déjà-vu again?» I thought and fell into a dead sleep ...

***

I opened my eyes. The pain in my body returned. Where am I? Before my eyes was a red baldachin, I was lying on a large bunk bed, covered with a blanket. The sheets, blanket, pillows - everything was red velvet. The room itself had been decorated in a Renaissance style. No doubt it was Marius' bedroom, it reminded me so much of the bedroom we once had in Venice, except that this bedroom had no windows.

For a moment, I thought that my mind was completely clouded, and I really was in the same bedroom in Venice. Maybe my whole life for 500 years had just been a bad dream and this palace had never been burned down. I was still a mortal boy, expecting my Master to come into this bedroom at any moment and kiss me. But pain and thirst made themselves felt again, bringing me back to reality. I remembered all the events of yesterday night. And then my creator entered the bedroom. He was dressed in modern clothes, black trousers and a red shirt. His face was almost human. It was evident that he had already had a good hunt.

«Are you awake? Sorry, I have not yet purchased sarcophagi or coffins for guests. Sometimes I myself sleep in this bedroom during the day. I want more human comforts. The sun cannot penetrate here, and mortal servants dare not come here during daytime work. I decided that a soft bed would be more comfortable for you».

«This bedroom is so similar to ... » I didn’t have time to finish, looking at him.

«Yes, I know. You know how much I like this style and interior», he said, smiling, and then came closer to me and sat down next to me on the bed.

«For a moment it seemed to me that I was really in the same bedroom, waiting for you as before, but the past cannot be regained. I have changed, just like you. How can you even look at this terrible burnt body now?»

«For me you will always remain that boy, despite hundreds of years. Even now, under this burnt flesh, I can see him. I love you, Amadeo, I have never stopped loving you. Let me heal you, my child.»

A bloody tear rolled down my cheek. It's amazing that there is still enough blood left in this burnt and withered flesh to shed tears. I was sad, I wasn't sure if he was being sincere, given how distant we had been. He offered me his blood. His delicious blood, the taste of which I have long forgotten. Would it mean something to both of us? I was not sure if I was ready to experience this closeness with him again. And did I want to be healed? I still was weak, I couldn’t even get out of bed. What else could I do?

«Then maybe you'd better bring some mortal sacrifice to me?»

«Why do you need a mortal if my blood will help you much more?»

«I'm afraid I'll take too much from you.»

«Don't be silly, Armand, there is enough blood in my body, I have just been hunting. My ancient blood will quickly lift you to your feet. Maybe later we'll go hunting together. Are you so afraid to share this intimacy with me again?»

«I… I don’t know. I'm not sure of anything anymore, what I really want and what I don't. But this pain is already simply unbearable!»

«Then stop torturing yourself and take my blood! Let me help you».

He unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt, removed the covers from me, and then gently pulled me to him, placing me on his lap. With his left hand he held me by the waist, and with his right by my head. During this movement, I felt another wave of pain. This time I wanted to hold back my scream and so I bit my lip. I felt a small trickle of blood drip from my lip. Marius, seeing this, immediately caught the blood from my wound and kissed me on the lips. I tasted his own blood on his tongue. This blood burned me, for a second my body seemed to be pierced by an electric current filled with life. Oh, this long-forgotten feeling from these bloody kisses with him! A moan escaped my lips, but it immediately severed the kiss. My thirst only intensified. This burning in my throat got so intense that I was barely able to breathe. I wanted him, I wanted him so badly now. I looked at him in confusion. Was he teasing me?

«Take it, my love, if you want it, then take it yourself, and I will be in your power», my creator said.

He brought my head a little closer to his neck, but I still couldn't reach him. I couldn't take it anymore. I gathered all my last strength and hugged him with my arms, approaching the cherished source on his neck. I brought my lips closer to it, kissing gently where his artery pulsed. His skin was warm. The scent of his victims’ blood and his own drove me crazy. I drove my devil's fangs into him. He cried out. The blood rushed into me in a stormy stream. It was like liquid fire that filled me with a source of life and energy. I felt how it passed through every cell of my body, forcing it to recover at a rapid rate. This blood was thick, scalding, and its taste was so delicious that I involuntarily began to moan. My body tensed and shuddered. There seemed to be no end to it. I love you, my Lord, I love you, you are mine! He stroked my head, playing with my hair. And I was like a hungry child who clung to my mother’s chest and continued to drink. His breathing was quickening, as was the pounding of his mighty heart, which was now under my power. All his blood moved obediently towards me. I pressed closer, I felt the strength returning to me. What a pity that I could not hear his thoughts, and I did not have visions because of the eternal veil of silence between us. But my own memories of the distant past, of the nights when I also drank deeply from him and became who I am now, began to surface before my eyes. I hugged him tightly. I was shocked with such a wave of pleasure that I grabbed his shirt, ripping it to pieces. Torn pieces of clothing fell to the floor, exposing his chest. He groaned. His heart slowed down a bit, but it wasn't going to give up. He fell back on the pillows, and I fell after him, lying on top of him and continuing to drink. He was not going to tear me off. Any mortal would have died long ago from the loss of such an amount of blood, but there is much more of it in our bodies. But still he continued to weaken, I felt it. I had to make my own effort to break away from this delightful source.

I was still lying on him. I lowered my head on his bare chest, breathing hasty, my body continued to shudder. His blood flowed inside me, saturating every cell of my body and continuing to heal me. I felt my strength grow.

I felt my creator's cool hand pass from my head down my back. It didn't hurt anymore. Now the touch was pleasant. Was my flesh completely healed so quickly? I raised my head and looked at his face. My creator was very pale, but there was a slight smile on his face. He looked at me spellbound.

«Look at you, my child, you are as beautiful again as before. It's amazing how strong my blood is. How do you feel?» Marius asked, putting his hand to my cheek.

He was right. My body had recovered its former features. I no longer looked like a skeleton clad in glossy black leather. I looked at my hand. My nails had regained their normal shape and shine again, and my skin color was only slightly tanned. Only a large amount of human blood and time could have achieved the same effect as his blood did in a few minutes. But why did I now feel such a heaviness on my heart from this intimacy with him? How did we look from the outside now? I was now lying completely naked in this bed, pressed against his chest. Everything looked the same as in those days in Venice, except that I took his blood, and not vice versa. Did he understand this as well as I did?

«I'm fine, I'm already much better. Sorry I tore your shirt», I answered, and then moved away from him, leaning back against the pillows. «Thank you for the blood».

«Don't apologize or thank me for this. I can hear the echoes of regret in your words. Share with me what’s on your mind now? What is weighing on your soul?»

«This bed, Master, the way you and I are now lying on this bed, reminds me too much of those times in Venice», I could not look into his eyes, answering this question. «Don't get me wrong, these are good memories, but I just came to terms with the loss of those times. I did not need you for a long time, like I used to, I am not the same boy I was those hundreds of years ago. That's what I've been thinking all these years. However, you make me remember a long-lost feeling», I said, looking into his eyes. «But do you need me now? Why did you come for me, Master? Did you ever need me?»

This question puzzled him. He was about to give me an answer, but then we both heard the doorbell ringing from the lower floor.

«Are you expecting someone at this hour?» I asked him in confusion.

«No», he replied, and then froze for a moment. He studied the unexpected guest with his mind's eye. «Oh, what luck!»

I followed his example. My strength had already recovered enough for this gift. He was a heavy-built man with dark hair and a short haircut on his head. He was wearing jeans and a coat. This man was a swindler and a thief. He's going to lie to us, telling us his car won't start and that it's very cold outside. He needed to use our phone to call a tow truck, and he also needed to go to the toilet. At this time, he was going to install wiretapping on the phone and in some other places of Marius’ home. He needed this in order to know when no one was at home, as well as to obtain information that could be used for blackmail. This man had no idea which house he had come to, and whom he decided to deceive.

«Will you share your meal with me? It is not often that the victim comes straight to my house on their own free will», my creator asked, smiling slightly.

«How in the old days? I'm still hungry, so yes».

«Then get dressed, I left clothes for you in that dresser. I'll open the door for our guest for now.»

He opened the closet, took out a new red shirt, and left the room. I got up and opened the dresser drawer, putting my clothes on. It was sky blue jeans, a blue T-shirt, white boots, and also underwear. The clothes were modern, but they were the same color I wore in the old days. He always loved it so much when I was wearing blue clothing.

I left the room and went downstairs. Marius’ house looked very luxurious from the inside, it was decorated in a Roman style, combining classic and modern. He always loved to live in luxury. I've always loved it too, except during my dark period in Paris. It was he who made me develop this love of wealth and luxury. Not surprisingly, the beauty of this house attracted a thief as if it were bait for a victim.

When I went downstairs, Marius had already invited the man into the living room and good-naturedly offered him a cup of tea to warm up. The guest had taken off his outerwear and sat down on the sofa. My creator pretended to go to the kitchen, leaving the man alone in the room. Marius was stretching time for me. Well, I'd play along with him, I even enjoyed it. The guest was about to get up from the couch and do his criminal work, but then he saw me.

«Good evening», I said with a slight smile.

The man froze, examining me. I heard his thoughts. As is so often the case with my victims, this hapless creature saw in me a beautiful boy with an angelic face and was ecstatic. He wondered how old I could be and apparently he was even considering getting intimate with me, even though he wasn’t usually attracted to men.

«Excuse me, I completely forgot that I ran out of tea», Marius said, returning to the drawing room. «I see you've already met my son? Do you like him?»

«Your son?» the guest asked in confusion.

I approached him and sat down on the sofa to his left. Marius also came closer and sat on the right side of our guest. The man began to sense that something was wrong.

«Do you want me to kiss you?» I asked the man with a seductive look.

«Yes», he replied, looking mesmerized into my eyes.

The man parted his lips, waiting for my kiss. My spell worked great. Marius tilted the man's head towards him, exposing the artery in the victim's neck in front of me. I sank my fangs into him, while my creator sank his teeth into the man's wrist. The warm blood filled my gut again, filling me with warmth. A slight shiver went through my body once more. I heard the beating of two hearts - that of my creator and that of our victim. A flood of visions of this man's life was exposed before me. Visions of how he had robbed so many houses, ruining the lives of countless people. I knew that at this moment Marius saw and felt the same, as if the wall of silence between us had collapsed. Many centuries ago in Venice, we often enjoyed drinking blood from the same victim at the same time. It had always been a special pleasure for both of us. The victim's heart began to slow down, and then it died down forever. I pulled away from his wound and then clawed my tongue with my fangs and closed the wound with my own blood. The two markings on the man's neck immediately tightened. Marius did the same.

«I will remove his body, will you wait for me?» my creator asked.

«No, better let me. I will get rid of it myself, I want to hunt more in order to finally recover. But I need to be alone, I need to think it over, okay?»

«As you wish. But promise me that you are not going to climb up to the sun again when you regained your strength», he said, kissing my forehead tenderly. «Moreover, we have not finished our conversation yet.»

«I promise I'll be back a few hours before sunrise. I am not going to attempt suicide anymore. I'm so confused ... I have a lot of things to think about. I want to continue our conversation, I need answers ...»

«I will wait for you, my child» he answered me, and then left a kiss on my lips and immediately disappeared. I heard him move up one floor.

I put on the man's coat. It was too large for me, but so I looked like a homeless teenager walking the dark and cold streets all alone. Nice bait.

I lifted the body, threw it over my shoulder and left the house. The street was quiet and deserted. His car was parked in front of the house. I dug into the victim's pockets and found the keys. Of course this car was fine and able to start. I threw the carcass into the trunk and drove as far as possible. Daniel showed me how to drive a car once, but I always preferred to have a personal driver. Having driven several kilometers into the city, I left the car in an unfavorable area and got out of it. It didn't take long for some thief to steal it. The first job was done.

I still wanted blood, I still needed it now. I was not going to play old games, waiting for those who wanted to die and needed my hug. I staggered along a dark alley. An unhappy teenager who was in trouble.

«Boy, are you alone here?» I heard the voice of a man behind me. «You’re probably completely cold, come with me, I will warm you», he continued, placing his hands on my hips.

«Oh, I'm sure, mister, you can definitely keep me warm», I said playfully, turning around, then pushed him against the wall and dug into his neck.

I killed four more people that night. I was finally healed and was even slightly drunk with blood. All this time I had been thinking about what Marius meant to me now. On that fateful day in Venice, when I lost him, I turned my heart into ice so as not to feel this pain. I suggested to myself that I no longer needed him. For several years I have distracted myself with various things, trying not to remember my life in Venice with him. At first I was completely lost in darkness as a henchman of one of the Children of Satan, then I became the owner of the theater, after that I spent several years of my life with Louis. He and I could not really get close, the loss of Claudia left too big a wound in Louis’ heart ... For several years I was left alone, aimlessly existing and wandering in the darkness ... And finally, I found Daniel, with whom I had a kind of romance. I was very attached to Daniel, I loved him. For the first time in several hundred years, I finally felt something again by sharing such an intense closeness with this young man. I gave him everything he could want, except for immortality. I was driving him crazy. In the end I didn't want to lose him and for fear of loneliness I eventually turned him into a vampire like Marius had once made me into one. This ultimately pushed me and Daniel further apart and we finally broke up. When I saw Marius for the first time, after centuries of separation, I experienced both pain, relief and joy. I took control of all my emotions. After the death of the Queen, we went hunting together, but I did not give vent to my feelings, and he did not put pressure on me. We never really discussed what had happened to us over the years. I only strengthened the ice in my heart and left him.

I was left alone again, I abandoned the Night Island. Loneliness has always been unbearable for me. What was the meaning of my existence? When I saw His face on the Veil, the very icon that I once had created myself in my distant childhood appeared before my eyes. I thought I recognized him. I thought that I could atone for my sins if I ascended to the sun. I hoped that He could receive me. But heaven rejected me, and like a fallen angel, I fell from heaven to earth.

And now, during these two nights, my master inadvertently evoked in me the memories of our past life in Venice, the ice in my heart cracked, rekindling a long-lost feeling in me that I was so afraid to experience again in relation to him. I really missed his caresses, I missed this closeness with him. But how did he feel about me now? I needed answers, I needed to stop avoiding him and dot the i's.

I returned to his house, and went upstairs to his bedroom. Out of old habit, I knocked on the door before entering.

«Come in», I heard.

My master was lying on the bed and reading some book. When I entered the room, he immediately put it aside on the bedside table.

«I'm glad you're back», Marius said with a smile on his face and sat up. «You look wonderful».

I went up to him and sat down next to him.

«Master, for a very long long time I was worried about questions that I did not dare to ask you», I took a deep breath and lowered my head. Tears flowed treacherously from my eyes. «Tell me, why haven't you come back for me in all these years? Why didn't you tell me that you survived that fire? Why did I only find out about this from Lestat's book? Why have you now decided to save me by taking me out from under the ice? Do you still need me?»

"Oh, my dear Amadeo," he said, lifting my head and kissing my tears. «I have always loved you without ceasing. I'm sorry that everything turned out that way, I also avoided this conversation for a long time», he paused, running his hand over my head. He looked into my eyes. «At first, I really could not help you or the other boys. I heard their screams, I also heard your desperate screams, but I was powerless to do anything. The fire hurt me too much. If it was not for Bianca, then I don't know if I would have survived ...»

«Bianca? What happened to Bianca?» I interrupted him.

«She helped me gain strength, I took her blood and gave mine in return. Yes, despite all my vows and promises, I made her a vampire. I was so selfish ... Perhaps we will see her again someday».

«I thought so, but was not sure», I slightly smiled for a moment, Bianca was never indifferent to me. «I’m glad she’s okay. But, Master, you recovered soon enough? Give me the answer to my main question, I want to know the truth. Why didn't you come for me? You knew where I was.»

He couldn't answer me right away. It was evident that he was carefully weighing his words. I heard his heart quicken its rhythm a little with excitement.

«I was hoping that you could fight back this cult if you wanted to. You had this power, you know that perfectly well», he looked away. «Once, I came to Paris and I saw you. I saw what you had become. You had forgotten all my lessons, you brutally killed innocent people, became one of them. They even made you their leader. I heard that you punished other children of Satan for breaking the rules. It hurt me deeply to see you like this. Your heart hasn't belonged to me in a long time. You had devoted your body and soul entirely to this society. You had changed so much. I couldn't come and get you out of there, you had to do it of your own accord.

«So, I disappointed you, Master? You didn't want to see me like this?» I dropped my head down, a new stream of tears gushed out of me. I tried diligently to wipe the blood off my face. «Do you think I have never resisted or tried to fight them? Do you know what I went through during the first year after our separation?» I looked into his eyes. His look was very saddened. He was silent and did not interrupt me. My creator let me speak. I continued to explain, my voice trembling. «On the first night I was taken prisoner, I saw my brothers burned alive. I myself was thrown into a fiery flame, but Santino pulled me out of there, he had other plans for me, still I experienced pain and fear of fire. Then one of the Children of Satan came to me and poured the ashes of my brothers from the urn on me. He laughed at my suffering. I killed him mercilessly by ripping off his head. Santino and Alexandra told me for what purpose vampires existed. That we served Satan in the name of God. You know very well what beliefs the cult of the Children of Satan carried. I was disgusted to hear how they distorted the very concept of Christianity, I did not believe in this nonsense. I cursed them! But my suffering was just beginning ...» I again looked away from Marius, covering my face with my hands. «I wanted to die. I mourned you, I needed you so much. It was so painful for me to realize that you are no more. I was left alone. I was thirsty. I was still a newly converted vampire, as you remember. I thought I would die of that thirst alone. It was so painful and unbearable that it drove me crazy. But on the 6th night they brought me a sacrifice. I pounced on it with great greed. When my vision cleared, I realized that I had just brutally killed Riccardo. I hated myself, I hated them. After another similar week of fasting, I didn't care. Sometimes sacrifices were made to me, they were all innocent, sometimes they were even children. I could not resist this thirst, I drank them all dry. Sometimes I saw their ghosts. The whole life that I spent with you in Venice seemed like a distant dream to me. Everything I once loved was dead, you were dead. I myself also died ... This is how I spent several months. I no longer had any strength and hope, I resigned myself to my fate. Santino and Alexandra came to me and consoled me. I gave up and accepted their faith. What else could I do? For whom or what did I have to fight further? I became the leader of the Parisian society. This at least gave me some purpose for my further existence, I needed this society. All these years I had been out of my mind. Yes, I drank innocent blood, but even then I enchanted my victims to numb their fear and pain. But these 300 years I spent in the most real darkness, refusing to remember that all these teachings of the Children of Satan were complete nonsense. Now you know how I really felt all these years. How many years have passed since you came and saw me? Why didn't you let me see you? If I had known that you were alive, then I myself would have burned all my henchmen and would have left with you without looking back. But you weren't there, you left me like a worn down toy ...»

With these words I finished my story and looked at him again. Now I saw traces of bloody tears in his own eyes. He looked at me with such pity, and then he sank to the floor, knelt down, pressing his forehead against my feet. I was very surprised by this gesture.

«Forgive me, I was such a fool and selfish», he said, looking up at me. «All this time I did not appreciate what I had. I didn't believe that you would disown the Children of Satan if I came for you. I thought that you had forgotten about me forever and would not want to see me if I showed up. I didn't know that you suffered so much, I didn't even want to think about it. It is my fault that all of this happened to you. By my will, you became a vampire at such a young age ... I just couldn't make up my mind to take you out of there. I chickened out. All this time I was with Bianca, but I betrayed her too. I was ready to give her up for the sake of Pandora, whom I did find. But fate taught me a lesson. Ultimately, I lost both Bianca and Pandora, and I never dared to come to you. I was left alone. Can you ever forgive me?»

«Why did you decide to save me, now, Master? What changed? Do you need me?»

«You went into the sun, my child», he continued, looking up at me. «Words cannot convey what sadness I experienced when I learned this news. I thought that I had lost you forever ... It was just like how you must have felt when you thought I was dead when you saw the flames consume me ...» he cried, uttering these words. «But when I heard Santino's thoughts and learned that you were alive, I felt such relief and joy. I could not stay idle again when I found out what had happened to you. And yes, of course, I need you!»

«Is this true?» I sank to the floor with him, I didn't like looking down at him.

«Of course it's true! And the truth is, when I carried your weakened body home in my arms last night, when you were unconscious, it reminded me of our first meeting».

«It also reminded me of our first meeting. Last time I was blinded by the light of a candle when you walked into that brothel. This time I was blinded by the light from the skyscrapers. But in both cases, I saw your face in this light. And then you said the same words as last time: "Sleep as I take you home"».

«You're right, they were the same words. I didn't even think about it ...» He put his hand to my cheek. «I love you, Amadeo. Will you forgive me for everything?»

I could no longer hold anger and resentment towards him, now I only wanted one thing - that he would embrace me.

«I forgive you, Master. Now please kiss me as deeply as before. Do you want me as you did before? I missed your caresses so much. I want it.»

In an instant, we were back on the bed. He pulled off my T-shirt and jeans and threw me on the velvet pillows. His lips kissed my bare chest, lightly nibbling my nipples without sucking my blood. A groan escaped my lips.

«You have no idea how much I wanted you at the beginning of this night», he whispered to me, continuing to leave kisses on my chest, hugging me, caressing and squeezing my hips with his hands. «Now your skin is so hot after drinking so much blood. You seem to be the same as on our first night.»

«I’m completely yours, Master».

I closed my eyes, remembering all the sensations that I had felt as a mortal youth, when he played with me the same way. My heart quickened its rhythm, pumping blood throughout my body. He certainly felt it. I put my hands on top of his soft hair.

«Come on, please, Master, stop teasing me», I groaned, pulling his head to my neck.

He kissed the place where my artery was throbbing violently. I could feel my beloved master sucking hard on my skin, but he still hadn't pierced it. It was like torture.

«Please, Master», I moaned pleadingly, pressing him tighter to my throat and throwing my head back.

Following my command, his fangs quickly pierced my skin. I cried out and grabbed the sheet with both of my hands, feeling the pain caused by his sharp fangs, but it quickly receded. I felt a pleasant pressure in my veins. My heart clenched with each new sip, now I was in his power and completely belonged to him, dutifully pumping my blood into his gut. I tossed about under the weight of his body, dissolving in these pleasant sensations, shuddering from spasms and emitting moans. I felt how the hands of the master continued to hug and caress my naked body, even touching between my legs. Of course, I did not feel carnal excitement like when I was mortal, but it was still pleasant and symbolic. My body seemed to have lost its weight, and I disappeared into weightlessness. I listened to the rapid beating of my creator’s heart in my ears as well.

I started having visions of my past life. It was that beautiful Venice, which I remembered from my mortal life with him. Our palazzo, our bedroom, pictures of my master. Our nights, which I have always associated with shades of red. His kisses and words of love. No one in all my immortal life has loved me as much as he did, back then on those beautiful nights in Venice ...

The vision faded. Pulsing waves of pleasure pierced my body. It was a feeling of weakness and ecstasy. I lost touch with reality, falling into darkness. Sweet, distant, pleasant sensation ...

Then, I felt my master’s warm wrist on my lips. Vienna pulsed inside of him. I grabbed his wrist and immediately pierced the flesh with my teeth, tasting the burning nectar. His blood made my body shudder again. Our hearts began to beat in sync. Now we were completely one: my blood continued to flow to him, and his blood was mine.

Then he tore his wrist off me and replaced it with his lips. I tasted my own blood mixed with his. It seemed like there would be no end, but we both felt the approach of morning ...

We lay side by side, hugging each other under the covers in bed and catching our breath. I smiled, hugging him. Again it seemed to me that all this was not real. Had it really been 500 years since we had lain together in bed like this? We were supposed to be together forever, but fate had separated us. However, right now, our feelings for each other flashed with renewed vigor.

«Dawn is coming, Master», I said. «We have to go?»

«What for? There are no windows here», Marius answered. «We can spend the whole day here together.»

«Right, I completely forgot about it».

«I love you so much, my angel», Marius said, running his hand through my hair.

«I love you too, Master», I replied, falling asleep.

***

When I opened my eyes the next evening, I saw the sleeping master in front of me. This was the first time we woke up together, lying in the same bed. Even in Venice, we could not sleep together, since each of us had our own sarcophagus. It was at this moment that I realized that in this century everything between us would change. Maybe now we could be together again.


End file.
